Category Archives: cake
neither having nor eating one’s cake…..
The depths of my childhood deprivation have only recently become apparent. Unlike the majority of happy baby boomer children who enjoyed Pineapple Upside Down (PUD…perfect acronym) Cake at the end of every joyous Sunday lunch of their idyllic childhoods I … Continue reading
on having and eating cake…
A very depressing aphorism suggests that one cannot have one’s cake and eat it which seems contradictory to me as the sole chance of eating one’s cake is indeed to have it, if only for that short time until it has … Continue reading
a question of taste….
Ronald Searle’s “Molesworth” books, of which I was a devotee when at prep school, often featured, among their wildly stylised illustrations, an image of what appeared to be a solid speckled cake like wedge, known as “seed cake”, and which … Continue reading
seeing red…..
There are, in my life, two new era defining acronyms to add to the familiar BC and AD, to wit BS and AS, which demarcate those periods in time before and after the advent of the saviour, aka Spellcheck ( interestingly, … Continue reading
the 3 R’s..
Resolve, recant, regret….and the greatest of these three is regret…. but only until the second mouthful if the cake is good enough. We of the human race are generally rubbish (the forgotten R) at keeping our promises to which a quick glance at divorce … Continue reading
lunch: a user’s manual..
Let me be clear, I don’t give a flying fuck if Marie Antoinette said brioche, chelsea buns or if she said bugger all…I’m saying it now…”let them eat cake”. In particular, let them eat this cake. Amaretti biscuits have always been … Continue reading
’tis the season that dare not speak its name ….
Cake and chocolate are two “C” words that have not, as yet, been proscribed. Christmas and cunt have been. Creating forbidden fruit has never succeeded in producing an aversion in those to whom the fruit are irresistible. Words of all kinds are irresistible … Continue reading
The drizzle, it drizzleth every day …..
The time has come for the fire to be lit in the daylight hours rather than at dusk. I use the term “daylight” loosely as “daygrey” would be more pertinent, both in luminance and mood. This is cake weather, where cake … Continue reading
Sugar in the morning, sugar in the evening, sugar at suppertime…
Fall is a time when I need to pick myself up from the lazy carpet of summer on which I have been laying, ripening with age, for far too long this year. Long sunny days of rustic torpor are not conducive to … Continue reading
Who called the cook a cunt?
Which knotty question is traditionally answered with the pithy response of: ” Who called the cunt a cook?”. The first time that I encountered that profane but apposite riddle was whilst making a television commercial for Nescafe in Athens in 1971APC (Ante Political Correctness) … Continue reading