I’ve lived the lie for long enough. Of the lies to live with, whilst remaining covert, it may well be the easiest as its nature is hardly believable. I have hidden in plain sight for so long that, for much of the time, I not only believe the lie but forget that it is a lie. My disguise is as simple as it is thorough; to all appearances I am what I profess to be, but which I absolutely am not. Were my habits to be examined, my computer checked and the house searched I would pass muster with flying colours. For this impersonation to remain watertight it is essential that certain items, items that could not have another purpose, are present and conspicuous in one’s home or business setting and they are; each and every one. And yet, for all this careful subterfuge, I always knew that there would be a moment when a crack, a fissure, would appear in the delicate fabric from which this travesty was woven. And so it has; on this very morning in August I went through my morning ritual of making coffee for Jenny, feeding Molly the finest fillets of mackerel and it was then that I realised that I didn’t feel like a coffee at all. Not only did I not feel like a coffee this morning, I haven’t felt like a coffee in the morning, afternoon or evening for the last 50 years. It has been a ritual that I have performed with conviction for the better part of my adult life. Coffee with sugar, although I drank it like that for the majority of my coffee years, is a pointless beverage as the idea of coffee is that it should be an intense coffee experience, not a coffee and sugar experience that is only intense in unpleasantness. I have never been into any Starbuck or its ilk and do not propose to ever be the victim Caramafuckinglatte as long as I shall live. In the end coffee is not as good as it smells……this said, I shall undoubtedly reply “yes” to “Would you like a coffee”on, hopefully, many more occasions as it is part of a pleasant ritual between people at table. A coffee with Calvados or something similar can be good but, even better to my mind, without the coffee.

About Food,Photography & France

Photographer and film maker living in France. After a long career in London, my wife and I have settled in the Vendee, where we run residential digital photography courses with a strong gastronomic flavour.
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27 Responses to Blackout….

  1. Ah, welcome to the club! I have never liked coffee. I can’t stand the bitter taste.

  2. Sue says:

    Well, I still enjoy a good espresso… instant rubbish, no mucked about with stuff

  3. Bizzy says:

    Sugar serves only to disguise bad coffee. Milk simply eases the blow to one’s digestive tract. On the right mornings, though, a properly dosed caffe corretto can be a wonderful thing. An Italophile friend turned me onto that. Espresso, of course, with an alcoholic top-up of choice, maybe brandy, maybe something else. Winter mornings, especially, quite nice.

  4. Mad Dog says:

    I do hope you haven’t given up on TEA!

  5. Ardys says:

    You’ve got me thinking. I’ve known coffee since a wee girl, but I do like the ritual as much as the brew itself. Now that I can’t do caffeine very well, I mostly have a cup of tea, but only one a day. The caffeine in tea is not as troublesome to my system. (Goes away and makes a cup of tea….)

  6. Eha says:

    *huge smile* Wrong message for me at the end of the usual inspired writing ! For me life would be heaps poorer sans the brew ! Just a couple of serves daily – a big cup of black without sugar in the morning . . . and a cup of the best black with probably a dash of the best cognac i have dumped in lazy-girl style for the night . . . Tea ? Of course . . . . green with perchance a dash of lemon when I feel I need it . . . c’est moi . . .

  7. Roger, I think I am kind of with you. I have never been a coffee drinker, simply because I don’t believe in that concept that people need coffee to wake up and can’t make it through the day without. By all means I don’t mean to critizise coffee drinkers habit at all. I just think it’s an illusion, well never mind my opinion. Yet I have to say, I love the smell of coffee and that once in a while a good strong espresso , decaf please, is a wonderful treat for me. Cheers to that.

    • In one part of my life I couldn’t get through the day without cigarettes, alcohol and cocaine… that was a ling time ago. Now I don’t need to “get through a day”.. the morning itself is my coffee.

      • Eha says:

        Roger – an absolutely honest Q – I still have my wine every day, and sometimes a dash of spirits just for fun . . . .cigarettes were never a ‘big thing’: smoked gitanes ’cause it seemed ‘sophisticated’ . . . but never had cocaine: can one really function and work ‘normally’ without others noticing . . . or did it not matter . . .

      • It mattered hugely and brought us twice to the edge of total ruin. … as well as stopping me achieving a success that had been handed to me on a plate… but Jenny is still with me… we have a lovely family and Molly…. and our home in France. I was standing in the garden looking up at a blue sky, with bird song all around me thinking that this is the only church I need.

      • That’s beautifully put … “the morning is my coffee” I’ll use that phrase, thank you.

  8. catterel says:

    Starbucks coffee is an oxymoron. Frothy milk, funny flavourings – leave them out, and there’s zero caffeine and certainly no taste of coffee. You might actually like it! But here in Switzerland we have Kafi Lutz, Kafi Fertig or Schümli-Pflümli (hot black coffee, hot chocolate, plum schnapps and cream) … or Irish coffee. Worth sampling!

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