The Vinpire sees red….

Vinpire:  a nocturnal creature that lives for the taste of fermented grape juice, as long as it’s red, and often finishes the evening trying to hang upside down from a beam or just falling down without making the effort of first trying to climb on a beam. Its communication consists of sounds that make sense to it alone but to no one else. Has a remarkable homing sense, in the dark, to any establishment selling fine wine”.

“It is a far, far better thing that I eat now…” were the words that glibly slipped from the Vinpire’s lips, making all his recent posts appear like a perjurer’s signed statement. Lips that had claimed to abhor the crimson tide flowing from the abbatoir were now stained incarnadine ( WordPress offered me Bernadine)  as the result of an orgiastic weekend of visceral blood-letting.  I blame it all on the son of Vinpire who had just flown in, as Vinpires do, for a short visit. Shopping with the SoV starts with fine wine and leads inexorably on to the meaty area. Lulled into the belief that we were only buying meat for photography, my Lord, I suddenly found myself in a meaty conspiracy to produce a steak, mushroom and ale pie under a very short crust pastry, a faux filet served with goose fat roasted potatoes and finally a crisp skinned, bloody duck breast. I never saw it coming, My Lord, I’m an old man and I didn’t realise. I blame it all on the young Vinpire. I’ll keep off the blood, honest, if you’ll just give me another chance.”

About Food,Photography & France

Photographer and film maker living in France. After a long career in London, my wife and I have settled in the Vendee, where we run residential digital photography courses with a strong gastronomic flavour.
This entry was posted in Art photography, beef, Cooking, Cotes de Rhone, Digital photography, Drinks, family, Food and Photography, Food photographer, Humour, Meat, mushromm and le pie, pastry, Photography, photography course, Photography holiday, Pie, roast potatoes, Steak, Still life, Uncategorized, Wine, Writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

52 Responses to The Vinpire sees red….

  1. That is gorgeous meat, Mr. Vinpire!

  2. Mad Dog says:

    That looks delicious, but I’m quite partial to blood and red wine. Oddly I’m very keen on garlic too.

  3. Roger, can I please come visit you and be your Vinpire friend? MTM doesn’t eat land animals or birds, but I could scarf that picture.

  4. Michelle says:

    I don’t think I could top Mad Dog’s comment, with which I’m in complete agreement.

  5. John Harvey says:

    Wonderful ! Just read it to Heather. We LOL’d

  6. WordPress. Bloody philistines.
    Had to read this out loud to Phil, it was just too funny to keep quiet.
    And now, at 10:30pm, when I should be going to bed, i feel like a glass of red.

  7. Good god, man.. you’ve gone over the tipping point, twice! Both in succumbing to “blood” and the lure of the fermented grape! Have I taught you nothing? ‘O thou invisible spirit of wine! If thou hast no name to be known by, let us call thee devil!’

  8. Tessa says:

    That duck breast looks absolutely outstanding! Vinpire…. Hilarious! I know what I am gonna be for Halloween :).

  9. Eha says:

    . . . reading the words of a so’proud and happy Dad with a smile still present even tho’ head may be throbbing . . .

  10. ChgoJohn says:

    It’s an unseasonably warm evening with showers intermittent. I just finished my supper, a grilled steak with a glass of California Cab. And now I come to your post. This is no mere coincidence. I think I’ll grab that bottle of Cab and give greater consideration to your words.

  11. joshuafagans says:

    Truly wonderful post. I’d raise a glass if the local vinpire hadn’t already drained the bottle.

  12. Lisaman says:

    Nothing nicer than tender rare filet steak and a glass of red!!

  13. I guess I’m a vinpire then. What a beautiful, bloody piece of meat.

  14. How could you resist? I couldn’t.

  15. Brilliant Roger…as ever!

  16. Rachel says:

    Mmmmmm bloooooood (red, that is)… 😉

  17. Leta Blake says:

    Wow. I’m starving now! 🙂

  18. Fascinating! Now I want to be a vinpire when I grow up…

  19. Tandy says:

    at least I now have a title for myself!

  20. Delicious! Is that blood? or a sauce? Either way it looks so enticing… 🙂

  21. cecilia says:

    You have got to keep your wits about you when there is a SoV in the house.. carry on! c

  22. Cara Hobday says:

    Fantastic picture Roger, loved the words too, as always.

  23. I just love that photo!

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