We group of nervously smiling children were made to stand in a row facing two or three older and less smiling children, but children just the same. Each of the unsmiling children held a crude home made bow in one hand and a pair of primitive arrows in the other. We, standing in a row, were asked by the other children whether we would prefer the nail or the used shot gun cartridge. This question referred to the different tips on the arrows. The used shot gun cartridge had a flat, brass plate on the end, which would hurt a bit, whilst the rusty nail had a point which would cause an injury. We all chose the cartridge every time. I don’t remember anyone choosing the nail. We were then told to turn around so that our backs faced the less smiling children, who called themselves Cobras, as in the snake. It was a summer’s day in the Worcestershire countryside and we were standing in a country lane, with steep banks rising up on each side; my memory has an image of a deep, steep sided lane whose banks were covered in vegetation interrupted by small serpentine paths leading up to the ridges. We weren’t smiling now. We were fidgeting. We didn’t look over our shoulders or at each other. If I had looked to my right I would have seen the large, rusty iron farm gate that led to fields where cattle grazed and where we would be taken on “walks” in the afternoons after classes. Looking to my left, if I had done so, would have given me a view of the copse at the far end of the cutting where we “hens” built our “dens” from old farm sacks and sheets of corrugated iron. We waited patiently to be shot but the bell rang and we all ran back to school. I don’t think we, or I, were ever shot but we waited quite often.
Proust was a Cobra, pronounced rather harshly as Prowst rather than Proost, and was the most threatening of that elite band of 11 year olds who made us 8 year old “hens” march as soldiers, in ordered groups, around idyllic country lanes so that we could be ambushed and lined up to be shot at their pleasure. There are apocryphal stirrings in the back of my mind that draw a picture of Proust with a raised hammer smashing the lid of my, or perhaps it was some other child’s, “tuck box” or maybe not a picture but a memory of hearing the story. It was only at the end of my final term at the school when I and my friends finally plucked up enough courage to enter the long deserted Cobras’ den. There was little to see save for a scattered array of rusty empty tins of Fussel’s Condensed Milk and faded sweet wrappers, evidence of the taxes that had been appropriated from us “hens”, together with the small cracked plastic body of a “Crystal” transistor radio which together were as clear a sign of their sway as would have been the bleached human bones in a cannibal’s cave. Proust, by then, had long gone on to matriculate as a bully at one of the great Catholic public schools. This was in 1952 and we children were still innocent and the irony passed us by.
strange times…this is a recount of events during my years at boarding prep school..
They don’t let children have fun like that these days 🙂
Excellent….sadly it just seems to happen in everyday life ….but, I suppose you don’t have to pay for it:)
Perhaps because they wrap children up in cotton wool…
they do indeed…and now we have so many blighted with allergies and god knows what else….and now the drugs don’t work…
I blame the supermarkets, cheap bread and factory farming.
blame’s the game at the moment…I wonder when the allergic unhealthy obese masses become truly American and start legal proceedings against the multi nationals for making them what they are….sadly, for the most part, they self made fuckups with no one to blame but themselves..
I’d like to see curbs on what people can sue for. Suing for self inflicted problems should be banned.
So agree…pointless litigation is nearly criminal itself….too American for words
I’m no fan of McDonald’s, but do remember them losing a court battle ($3 million) where a woman bought a cup of coffee from the drive through, spilled it in her lap and burnt herself because it was hot. Surely coffee is supposed to be hot.
…apparently though, the woman in question had only asked for $20,000 and McDonalds refused, so it went to court.
crazy….you’re going to get me going on Kim Kardashian in a moment…:)
Oh no, that reminded me of the PETA campaign with Pamela Anderson marked with meat cuts (butcher’s chart) – I took one look at it and thought dinner!
…should read ” they ARE self made fuckups…etc”
Having read a few such tales ‘out of school’ [tho’ never told with such elan as here, especially with the more than able help of Mad 🙂 !!!] I just wonder was it not infra dig to tell one’s parents, or did they not believe and were did the teachers really turn a blind eye!!! Or was this also part of the education of a fine young British gentleman: a rite of passage, so to speak . . .
In my experience it was pointless advising one’s parents as there was little they could do, save remove one from the school which wouldn’t fit into their plans at all, and the masters knew it all went on and that was part of being there. It was just a time…better than in previous time…but, as today in various parts of the world, just a moment.
Sadly, the cotton wool wrapping doesn’t prevent the poor behaviour of some kids. It just means that it doesn’t get dealt with. The wrapping often hides the reality as so often, parents don’t have the inclination to really deal wit the issues. They too are scared little children in their own way.
…and there’s the problem ….the more we have been over concerned with good parenting the worse our pampered society become. So many are unwilling to confront the truth that their offspring may be at fault, not because of society’s failings, but through their own premeditated volition. At least I’m getting older all the time which is a relief:)
I think that thought when I see kids being driven to my local gym for exercise class.
too funny, isn’t it…I say funny, but…