Roger v Roget

This has been a bruising encounter in which the Plaintiff, Roger, believes he has been thoroughly rogered by the Respondent, Roget, in that the Respondent allowed his hard backed Thesaurus Rex, an unlicensed verbivore, to gobble up the text of the Plaintiff’s recent WordPress post entitled “We are not going out”.

The Respondent, Roget, denies the severe rogering and states that his Thesaurus Rex was quietly roaming the tomes, grazing on phrases, as was its wont, when it inadvertently consumed what it considered to be a pile of Reader’s Digest.

The case continues.

About Food,Photography & France

Photographer and film maker living in France. After a long career in London, my wife and I have settled in the Vendee, where we run residential digital photography courses with a strong gastronomic flavour.
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19 Responses to Roger v Roget

  1. Francesca says:

    Good to see you back in form. Isolation becomes you.

  2. Sue says:

    Presumably got verbal diarrhoea….

  3. Mad Dog says:

    ROFL – I thought the redacted text was a political statement relative to your isolation.

    • Hi MD. I was really annoyed. I’d written a piece about the pitfails and pratfalls of on line shopping. …and it just suddenly disappeared leaving on the headline. There’s no way of contacting wordpress and it hasn’t even kept the draft. Really odd.

      • Mad Dog says:

        It’s in the email notification I received if you want to paste it back in …or do you want to leave it blank now?

        Rarely has a script writer, wittingly or unwittingly, so completely nailed the zeitgeist. As an adolescent I was told with monotonous regularity that actions had consequences to which I paid scant heed, but that same meme today has become an imperative as opposed to a caution. Corralled within the confines of our home, the action of going out advised against, we virgins, unwonted to the rituals of home delivery, have been rudely deflowered. Accustomed to jotting our shopping list on small pads of paper on the kitchen table, which each of us would add to or edit in passing, we now sit together, eyes glued to the screen, deprived of a virtual pencil to jot ” flour” or “jam”, condemned to scrolling through the 80 or so alternatives of each product as the bald simplicity of “flour” or “jam” would elicit a digital “you’re ‘avin a larf”; 2 x 1kg type 65 Farine tous usages “Francine” might be something that would whet the software’s appetite to chew over and digest before replying with a polite hand over mouth burped “NON”: The situation being as it is there are more “Non”‘s than “Oui”s which makes it extraordinarily difficult to reach the required minimum, for home delivery, of 50€, an amount which, in the real world, is impossible to stay below; which means one is soon ordering any old bollocks as we’ve long forgotten planned recipes and economies and are completely focused on reaching the 50€ summit by any means achievable or, more precisely, by any products available with a limit of 2 on any single product; this is the North Face without ropes or oxygen and….we’re there, flag planted….VALIDER…hurrah!

        But we’re not…we are so fucking not. A sheet ice wall of unavailable delivery dates looms above us until, suffering now from acute repetition injury, we achieve a delivery slot for 7.00 am in 10 days time. We have no idea what will be contained in the bags that will make up this delivery, as the term SUBSTITUTION is one we have come to know and fear, so it will be more like a tombola with the traditional snake replaced by an equally poisonous zeitgeist.

      • Hey, MD… many thanks… I’ll repost it… that’s very thoughtful, thank you🙏🙏

      • Mad Dog says:

        You are very welcome.
        It’s very odd that WP didn’t keep a version. You can contact them BTW, but these days you have to post on their forum and they get back to you a couple of days later.

      • OK… I did do that yesterday so I wait with bated breath

      • Mad Dog says:

        Yes – I definitely preferred their older web contact form, like sending an email.

  4. Eha says:

    Early on a Monday morning in rural Australia this very practically minded gal is enjoying a bit of a laugh ! Having been 98% dependent on on-line shopping for more than a quarter century hope you all will soonest discover all its beauties . . . like shopping at 11pm, in one’s study, in PJs with a glass of wine in hand and being able to access a football sized sales arena from one’s comfortable armchair !! Admittedly some avenues and time slots have closed, but . . . be well . . . and, Roger, I do love your renewed posts . . .

    • Hi Eha…glad to hear you’re safe. Oddly enough, being late arrivals in the field of on line shopping, Jenny and I have only just realised that one needs to do the shopping at midnight if one wants to get a delivery slot…..7 days in advance. So, our first, wine in hand, midnight tryst will be on Tuesday. I’ll let you know how it goes.:)

      • Eha says:

        Fun and games at 10 AM ! YIPPEE – Have just ‘scored’ two 4-litre casks of wine + a bottle of brandy from my usual supplier on-line ! Now off to my supermarket for an eighty-dollar on-line box in which anything edible may arrive ! But it should have two cartons of precious milk and some rolls of toilet paper 🙂 ! May take 7-10 days . . . thank God my recent readymade food service has still promised a delivery this week !! Oh, Roger – if one cannot laugh one will cry . . . NO !!!

      • Hi Eha, we were sitting by the screen at midnight, hitting the button for deliveries exactly on the stroke of midnight….still failed to get a delivery but at least were able to order on line and go and pick up the completed order which saves walking around the shop. We’re lucky that there aren’t too many shortages…naturally there are shortages in soap and the like…I think this pandemic might encourage people to have bidets again. It must be really tough isolated on your own…think of you often….bonne courage…all the best, Roger

      • catterel says:

        My first thought on hearing that lopper was disappearing was Thank God we’re in France with a bidet!

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