going la la la la la…..

There are times, quite a lot of times, when, whether the kitchen radio is on or off both settings seem very like each other to me, as, for all the information that I absorb it may as well be transmitting the buzzing of insects. The ears are pricked up but the mind is elsewhere. Was it ever thus? …probably. Memories of school recall a distant, menacing voice enquiring “….Stowell, what is your opinion of that..?” with the full knowledge that Stowell was devoid of an opinion on that as he was currently on the field of Agincourt or, less gallantly but more likely, engaged in a near hopeless mental struggle to create an erotic fantasy involving the perambulating gargoyle that was matron which task was taxing his teenage testosterone fuelled mind with a problem beyond the wildest complexities of Euclidian geometry, should there be such a thing. On reflection I was starting as I meant to continue; I was filleting life; discarding the unwanted skin and bones. To précis this long winded passage it may simply be said that I was not paying attention, often do not pay attention and, as likely as not, will, in the the future, often not pay attention which results, resulted and will continue to result in not hearing the words. Thus: ” Good evening Roger, let me introduce you to buzzzzzzzz, and bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz” “Hi”. When my turn comes to introduce bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and bzzzzzzzzzzzzz to Jenny I just say “Oh, I must really go and have a piss….introduce yourselves”. It’s depressing for both Jenny and I if there are a lot of introductions as it is quickly assumed that I’m taking a huge amount of cocaine, with no apparent effect, or I should be in hospital undergoing some serious urogenital reconstruction or both. I have a suspicion that all HRH’s hear the same buzzing but have unseen implants that move their speaking parts to produce the noise that most recipients of Royal comments hear as something nice but which I would hear as BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ (HRH’s only buzz in capitals) unless there is a faulty implant in which case the HRH would go along the line declaring “I must go and have a piss” to which one should bow or curtsy…depending.

Tomorrow I’m featuring on a Podcast from the United Nations of Photography www.unitednationsofphotography.com buzzing about what photography means to me which gives you a chance to meet me without the difficulty of an introduction. Must go now…..