I think I’ve heard this one before…..

Eating outside at night is clear evidence of summer; being comfortable and warm whilst eating outside is clear evidence of a perfect summer night. It only takes one forgetful old man repeating a well worn story for the umpteenth time to bring such a night to its knees, begging for mercy. So here I go. It was a warm and gentle night and the photographer said to his assistant “come for a swim, assistant” and the assistant said “but I have no swimmers” to which the photographer said “bollocks, you can swim in your pants and I know a secret route to the swimming pool through the maze of corridors in this very expensive and exclusive hotel”, where we were staying because we’d been shooting a highly paid advertising job and the client was paying, “enabling us to reach the pool unseen” and so saying walked boldly through an unmarked door into the heart of the packed restaurant whose clientele were now like frozen figures from a Bateman cartoon as they looked in amazement at the man in smart black underpants with a folded white towel over one arm, starkly lit by a flaming crepe Suzette, like a disturbed waiter who had spent his tips on drugs. By this point I am alone at the table, Jenny and our friends having left out of fear that I might remember some other oft repeated tale……so it was left to me to eat the best part of a perfectly ripe Reblochon with a bunch of sweet, dark skinned grapes and good bread…..a very good night, I thought.

About Food,Photography & France

Photographer and film maker living in France. After a long career in London, my wife and I have settled in the Vendee, where we run residential digital photography courses with a strong gastronomic flavour.
This entry was posted in 2017, Art photography, Cheese, Digital photography, France, Fruit, grapes, Humour, Photography, photography course, Prints, Reblochon, Still life, Uncategorized, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to I think I’ve heard this one before…..

  1. “the man in smart black underpants with a folded white towel over one arm” Is it too much to ask for a photo of this? I think your readers expect it of you.

  2. Utterly wonderful story…I don’t need a photo…my imagination is already running wild!

  3. Mad Dog says:

    Ha ha, I thought that tall tales were supposed to improve with age, but regardless, I do admire your cunning plan to scoff all the cheese!

  4. Sue says:

    You do have a way of telling a tale, always with a great ending!!

  5. Angeline M says:

    The perfect lighting by the crepe Suzette…worth gold to any photographer with an iPhone at hand.

  6. Amanda says:

    That was a good laugh : )

  7. Eha says:

    . . . . a very good night for you . . . a delightful morning for me [so what’s new when ‘that’ guy posts ?] . . . . well, since Jenny seems to have disappeared what stopped you from another tale . . . ?

  8. Linda Duffin says:

    Hilarious, no photograph required (please, just don’t). πŸ™‚ Reminds me of a very sozzled former colleague who locked himself out of his hotel room, stark naked, and fell asleep curled up in a corner of the lift. We will never know how many times that night bemused fellow guests had to share the space en route to their own rooms.

  9. what an absolutely delightful tale – and that cheese ……….:) πŸ™‚

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