Hold the lamprey…

cabbage_frost

Cabbage rimed with frost, impersonating a lamprey

The concept of dying from a surfeit of lampreys intrigues me in that a single mouthful of lamprey could well constitute a surfeit in the mind of one unfamiliar with lamprey. Now that you are familiar, I think that you will agree with me that one look at a lamprey constitutes a surfeit. The death of King Henry I of England, who was French, from such a surfeit suggests to me that he was a reasonable man who had reached that point of frustration with his English chef’s tireless declarations of the superiority of good English fare over foreign muck up with which he could no longer put. He sent word to Chef Gordon of Ramsay to put up or shut up and Gordon, being who he was, chose the former, but chucked in a “fuck off” rather than do the latter. History tells us that lampreys are rarely, if ever, mentioned after that point in time. It had been mooted that the lamprey would be suitable to use in a unit of avoirdupoids measurement to be known as “perch, pike or lamprey” which, after the surfeit, was hurriedly changed to “perch, pike or rod” the latter of which was used vigorously on the unfortunate chef leading to the culinary term: “beat until stiff”.

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About Food,Photography & France

Photographer and film maker living in France. After a long career in London, my wife and I have settled in the Vendee, where we run residential digital photography courses with a strong gastronomic flavour.
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42 Responses to Hold the lamprey…

  1. Mad Dog says:

    That’s a stunningly beautiful cabbage. I’m very keen to try the lamprey pie cooked by Clarissa Dickson Wright, recreating a dish eaten at Pepys anniversary 🙂

  2. Richard Tennant says:

    Very nice shot of a Cabb arge. Can¹t wait to read your April fools post, could be better than spaghetti trees!

    Keep on going, this will make a great book, just forward hi-res and I¹ll see you right when it hits the bookshelves!

    Coolio!

    On 18/1/16 16:56, “Food, Photography & France” wrote:

    > Food,Photography & France posted: ” The concept of dying from a surfeit of > lampreys intrigues me in that a single mouthful of lamprey could well > constitute a surfeit in the mind of one unfamiliar with lamprey. Now that you > are familiar, I think that you will agree with me that one look ” >

    • I’d love to do something like that….it does seem that everyone and his mother is writing a book at the moment…how could one possibly attract a publisher? By the way, you should check out Larry Barker’s new novel “The Fruit & Veg Man”…it sounds to be very funny indeed:)

  3. Conor Bofin says:

    Glorious photo Roger. I can imagine Chef Gordon doing just that…

  4. Francesca says:

    Stunning photo- just goes to show, ice and frost can be a photographer’s best friend. Avoirdupois measurements- there’s an interesting memory, along with ‘up with which he could not ‘- hilarious as usual.

  5. ardysez says:

    Beautiful photo. An unexpected elucidatory reading to start my day 🙂

  6. Disturbing. Fascinating, but disturbing. But yes, there are recipes, I love this sentence from one: Preparing the lamprey is not the most enjoyable stage of the process. Cheers!

  7. Eha says:

    I shall copy Mad [have great respect for his knowledge!!] and make you hate me forever by saying that one Gordon R, when not being paid stupidly vast amounts by the US, is actually a very good cook: 😀 !!

  8. ChgoJohn says:

    Great photo, Roger, but a god-awful reference. Even so, loved the link you supplied. Nasty looking beast but the commentary was Nobel Prize worthy.

  9. catterel says:

    Who else could link such a wonderful photo to a monster lamprey and Gordon Ramsey? Love this! Especially the cabbage.

  10. The first thing I thought of was a lamprey eel. I have never seen this “cabbage”. Does it taste good?

  11. Not sure If I get it. It is 5:00 am. Is this a play on words?

  12. Stunning, stunning cabbage – but oh my god how gross was that Lamprey? Am going to check out Mad’s recommendation as I do trust him but I think I’ll take quite a lot of convincing!

  13. That’s a stunning shot, Roger. Converting the cabbage haters (I am not one of them!) 🙂

  14. Roger , some day I hope we get to share a glass or two in person (partners invited, bien sûr) … I want to see “in the flesh” where some of these thoughts originate! Fabulous photo … a gorgeous chou!

  15. That lamprey. “A penis with a vagina attached to it with teeth”… Quality!

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