A €hristmas Calor defines the fear of that moment of realisation that there is no spare gas bottle when the flame splutters and dies half way through the ritual destruction of salmonella, and all her bacterial chums, thus ensuring that your €hristmas goose is metaphorically cooked whilst festively leaving your empirical goose/capon/turkey completely fucked. Living in a country where, on the downside, mains gas is not a given but, on the upside, which does not recognise the two week eating and drinking binge, that we English know as €hristmas, offers a certain amount of comfort to a committed €hristmas curmudgeon. For all their denial of this festival, the French petits fonctionnaires are punctilious in the matter of putting up communal, festive decorations in the squares and streets of even the smallest village but are more whimsical in their removal once their pertinence is past. Thus we, in the provinces, can enjoy the spirit of €xmas well into the month of May in the following year. Sun bleached Santas hang from windows in broad daylight like carefree, copycat burglars offering me an inkling of what ChristmA$ must be like in Australia whilst reaffirming my good fortune that the presiding judge had mercifully spared me a long sea voyage and, instead, sent me here to live out my years cursed with the Promethean task of draining that wine lake that is the produce of the vineyards of France.
Great picture 🙂
it was a funny moment:)
You deserve the Nobel Prize for that one!
Keep up the good work with the wine lake – I’ll send you a snorkel for Christmas 😉
I’ll be diving deeper than that, MD:)
Plumbing the depths!
…getting down in the bathysphere …trying to avoid the sediment:)
That’s where the snorkel comes in handy, especially with a muslin filter 🙂
that’s no muslin, bruv:)
ROFL – you should do stand up 🙂
I’m terrified of any form of public speaking…I prefer having time to edit my words:)
Keep drinking the wine 😉
You’ve outdone yourself.
What Michelle said.
Brilliant post Mr Stowell and am snorting with laughter at your exchange with Mad Dog 🙂
I have to meet him one day:)
I’ve had the pleasure – I think you too would get on very well…and perhaps a few glasses would be raised too 🙂
I have no doubt of that and, if MD had his way, quite a lot of innards consumed:)
My but you do have a way with words!
Cheers, Linda, very kind:)
Haha! 😉 Merry Christmas!
Cheers, Ghetran….Merry Christmas to you too:)
This is your best one ever Roger. Read aloud, even better. Merry ChristmA$. Mr Tranquillo had decided to take up your spelling of the ‘C’ word.
Thanks, Francesca….good to hear that Mr.Tranquillo shares my view..:)
You are SO right, Roger, about Yule in Australia – 40C + here today, one cannot access any media without hearing multiple times a minute that billions of $A are being ‘spent’ this weekend alone . . . and as my ‘lake’ of ‘celebratory’ wine is still sitting in some delivery truck I cannot even find solace in lifting a glass alongside you 😀 !! Truly do not resemble Scrooge in spite of above . . . so my sincere Compliments of the Season to you and yours . . . [listening to children’s grandiose wishes to Santa, just wonder how come way back when we were quite happy to receive a ball or skipping rope or some colouring books and pencils when opening our parcels from under the tree . . .]
we’re in the time of turning on the tap of either “happiness on demand” or “instant satisfaction”….neither of which do what it says on the label:)
Merry Christmas. What a brilliant post! Your audience appreciates you very much! Can only imagine if you could edit while doing stand up. 🙂
You’re right….one can only imagine..:)
Hi Roger, Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you and jenny. Hope you are both keeping well and enjoying life in the hamlet.
we have many happy memories of life in La Mouserie.
lots of love
Brilliant to hear from you both…glad you’re enjoying life in England. Very little change here and we’re just as happy. Have a great Christmas..all our love and best wishes:)
Hmmm ~ a committed Christmas curmudgeon couldn’t possibly be this funny. Have a merry whatever … even in the bathysphere!
..and a very happy Christmas to you too, Patricia:)
Another burst of laughter on the train this morning! Thank you and a very Merry Christmas .
Cheers,Tanya….have a good one:)
I’m heading to Lyon in April and would love some really good tips on places to eat? ..
Very clever, Roger. Do you know of a judicial exchange program? We need his kind of creative sentencing on this side of the Atlantic.
It certainly is time for a judicial review….less time, more wine:)
I love this photo. And it’s so annoying when you plan the meal, get it going, and halfway through realise the gas has run out. Then there is a scramble to save the meal!
Just another thing to remember…..have a lovely Christmas:)
Happy Christmas to you and your family. Here’s to a day of good food and good company.
You are just amazing, Roger, love your kind of humor, cheers to you!
To a splendid new year of 2016
Many thanks,Cornelia, and a very happy New Year to you too:)