breaking eggs badly…the box set

eggs_dated_cropjul17_7141

As a cook, it is not unusual for me to find myself uncomfortably perched on the pointy bits of the dilemma which involves guessing an egg’s age. Not unlike ourselves, eggs of different ages behave very differently and I find that I can misjudge  the age and behaviour of an egg quite as easily as I can misjudge the age and behaviour of  my fellow human beings  Living in the country has been a great help to me in respect of both of these failings as the date of an egg’s emergence is noted in pencil on the shell and there are not many people. However, individual egg dating is only evident when I buy, beg or borrow eggs from one of our neighbouring farms which is not every day…if indeed that was the case, I would have an egg mountain or be egg bound, which sounds like Westward’ho but isn’t and what few people there are here would hide from me which has set me wondering if there are in fact, or more precisely in hiding, more people here than I imagine. The two ages of egg that interest me are the age of easy separation, which in the human only depends on having someone from whom to separate, and the age of hard boiledness which is the eggage when the shell will peel off with ease after boiling..only Caligula or H.Lector would be an authority on the human equivalent. My relationship with egg white, as I have mentioned at other times, is strained and unreasonable: it is not unlike Henry VIII’s fickle attitude to wives’ heads and their continued attachment. There are boiled eggs, the mere sight of whose “white” will induce gagging, whereas I can stand at a bar on a market morning sipping a glass of muscadet and happily chomp on a lightly salted, hard boiled egg, a small basket of which it is not unusual to find perched on the “zinc”. The eggs that you see in the opening still life of this post, dated 15/7, would, by yesterday, have been ideal to be hard boiled but, following an unerring sense that allows me to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, I chose to ignore their clearly marked age and treat them as adolescent ova whose albumen and yolks would be only too willing to separate from each other and in so doing allow me to transform one half of their eggy gestalt into soft sweet pillows of meringue. It is hard to imagine that any ambitious young egg would be able to resist such a career move but, as you know, these were not thrusting youngsters but old dodderers whose albumen and yolks were bound together for eternity, to whom separation was anathema. Never was the adage of the impossibility of making an omelette without breaking eggs so clearly illustrated, and that is what they inevitably became:a perfect liaison of their elements bound together with fresh herbs from the garden together with tomatoes, whose scented ripeness declared them unmistakably as fruit  and hot, sweet butter. An omelette is the perfect solution for a person who plays roulette with eggs..

omelette_tom_herbs_0063

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About Food,Photography & France

Photographer and film maker living in France. After a long career in London, my wife and I have settled in the Vendee, where we run residential digital photography courses with a strong gastronomic flavour.
This entry was posted in 2015, Boiled eggs, Cooking, Cuisine bourgeoise, Digital photography, Drinks, Eggs, food, Food and Photography, Food photographer, France, Hard boiled eggs, Humour, omelette, Photography, Uncategorized, wine, Writing, yolks and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

42 Responses to breaking eggs badly…the box set

  1. Misky says:

    There are innumerably more people here than you’re aware. They stand about like fence posts – watching, reading, salivating, begging for a chance to breathe when a full-stop fails to appear. A very good morning to you, Roger. Lovely omelette. Amusing post. It makes me wish for chickens. >

  2. Richard Tennant says:

    Nice Souflee Rog

    On 27/7/15 10:35, “Food, Photography & France” wrote:

    > Food,Photography & France posted: ” As a cook, it is not unusual for me to > find myself uncomfortably perched on the pointy bits of the dilemma which > involves guessing an egg’s age. Not unlike ourselves, eggs of different ages > behave very differently and I find that I can misjudge  the a” >

  3. ..and then when you get fresh eggs you have to carefully put them at the bottom of the bowl and the older ones to the top. It’s a perilous occupation meddling with eggs…

  4. jmcheney says:

    You have egged me on to an omelet this morning! I find I have all the ingredients including a perfect garden tomato & herbs, even though my eggs are “store boughten” (as we used to say in Kentucky), getting on in egg years but still within their sell-by date 7/31. Merci beaucoup for the bonne idee!

  5. When you find yourself with a surplus, the game of “egg roulette” always amuses: hard boil all but a few of, say a dozen eggs, then invite friends to smash the eggs against their foreheads

  6. Lovely post to read while I have my eggs for breakfast. I wish farms here would “date” the eggs. Such a brilliant simple idea.

  7. Mad Dog says:

    I’ve just been playing Russian roulette with 3 eggs and some truffle oil… I’m pleased to say I won 😉

  8. I am just enjoying the “eggy’ conversations here

  9. Angeline M says:

    How wonderful the freshness of your country eggs must be as compared to our refrigerated cartons of eggs from the supermarket. If your eggs get too old, you can follow a Mexican custom for fiestas: make a small hole in the end of the egg, blow it out, let dry. Color the eggs with beautiful dyes, fill said egg shell with confetti and close hole with scrap of colorful tissue paper. At the fiesta, crack confetti egg over head of unsuspecting guest. Again, much more fun after a few tequila shots.

  10. Eggs – yes we are getting about 20 a day at the moment.. I love eggs luckily!

    On Mon, Jul 27, 2015 at 4:35 AM, Food, Photography & France wrote:

    > Food,Photography & France posted: ” As a cook, it is not unusual for > me to find myself uncomfortably perched on the pointy bits of the dilemma > which involves guessing an egg’s age. Not unlike ourselves, eggs of > different ages behave very differently and I find that I can misjudge the > a”

  11. Conor Bofin says:

    The sad truth is that my eggs have the date printed on them. I believe we have the EU to thank…

  12. Eha says:

    Huh? Why just not put them in a bowl of water and see how far down they sink or float? Sheesh . . . I may be wrecking a witty conversation . . . ?

  13. karen278 says:

    Thanks for stopping by to comment on my egg and omelette post Roger, and SNAP! We are both singing from the same song sheet on this eggy dilemma and recipe! Karen

  14. While I am sorry for the teenage eggs that they resisted their foray into meringue, they have come together into a beautiful omelet. Interestingly enough, my own first instinct when I am not sure of an egg’s age is to hard boil it (though I prefer soft-boiled eggs generally!).

  15. This is an aside, but I am in discussions with an artist retreat to do a program, and I went there last month. They have chickens. I didn’t realize it was better to not wash the eggs, because they last longer with the chicken goo on them.

  16. Wonderful post, as always Roger!! And now I know why my recent hard-boiled eggs just refused to strip!

  17. Mary Frances says:

    That omelette looks so bright and beautiful! Delish.

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