Lifting the lid on strawberries…


I blame longitude for the problem. The problem that I refer to is the intensely enervating sensation that comes upon me when I watch hyper enthusiastic television presenters being “excited” about everything and anything. Why am I looking at them at all, you may ask, and I refer you to my opening words. I am in the habit of watching the early evening news on television which affords me little pleasure but gives me a chance to shout abuse and obscenities at influential people without appearing before the beak. Because of this affectation I tend to be alone when watching as Jenny wisely finds more pressing things to do in another room. Were I to be watching the 6 o’clock news in England there would not be a problem as I would never be watching it. As it is, I’m watching the 6 o’clock news in France which is shown at the more sensible time of 7 o’clock which means that I will be watching and berating as I go back and forth from the kitchen where  I will have started to prepare supper which will be eaten at about 9 o’clock. As the hour of the news ends so begins a maniacal half hour of non stop talking, teeth and laughter ….laughter that has to be dragged from its hiding place like tree stumps or wisdom teeth by presenters clinging on to their livelihoods whilst glum talented folk watch from the sofa awaiting the cue that will allow them to fulfill their agents’ demand of promoting their latest offering. Like a rabbit caught in the headlights I stare with a dreadful fascination at the bollocks unfolding on the screen. Sometimes I am saved by the smell of burning from the kitchen which brings me to my senses and lets me escape the Medusa experience. Yesterday, a wunderkind chef was beating a snare drum as child chefs presented their labour saving ideas for the kitchen and I, in my turn was beaten and snared. One of the ideas involved removing the green bit from the top of a strawberry by inserting a drinking straw at the pointed apex of the fruit and pushing upwards , as in the photo above…brilliant. I was excited……but only for a moment.

About Food,Photography & France

Photographer and film maker living in France. After a long career in London, my wife and I have settled in the Vendee, where we run residential digital photography courses with a strong gastronomic flavour.
This entry was posted in 2015, Bad Habits, Digital photography, food, Food and Photography, Food photographer, France, Uncategorized, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to Lifting the lid on strawberries…

  1. Conor Bofin says:

    Best to not watch the news at all. The straw trick seems to be a solution to a problem that didn’t exist before it (the solution) was devised.

  2. I saw someone do this on a YouTube video earlier. Funny how Straws and Strawberries have only just found each other, despite their namesakes!

  3. Sue says:

    Soon as the news ends, I turn the TV off….I am not going to waste my life on b******s!

  4. Mad Dog says:

    I’ve given up on TV – there’s almost nothing worth watching in the UK theses days. Not watching did seem to make the election go faster though and that’s a real blessing!
    Your straw-berry looks great, but I’d be prompted to ask the TV chef, “What’s the point Zabriskie?”

  5. ardysez says:

    Our news is on at 7 too. The other evening my husband and I grumbled dissatisfaction after nearly every story and then he said “Gee, we’re a couple of old grumps, aren’t we?” We stopped, though inwardly I’m sure we were still grumbling. Nice photo–would have to go buy plastic straws to make the trick work, so that is probably not going to happen. 🙂

  6. Eha says:

    Living semi-rurally perchance I have grown ‘less demanding’ as far as TV is concerned. Quite frankly from about 8.30pm onwards [admittedly having a special ‘seniors’ package of the top 22 channels on Pay-TV on as well] there seem to be a lot of political, economic etc offerings as well as a plethora of history, biography, natural science and v watchable lifestyle and cooking programmes – actually oft too many choices especially when the Giro and Tour de France are on 🙂 ! No adverse comments from autumn> spring when sports programmes do take over!!

  7. What a brilliant idea how to remove the strawberry’s “green hat”. I suppose your “Medusa” moments have a creative line !!! Beheaded strawberries.

  8. Since Big Man discovered he can put Euro News into Spanish the grump levels have increased as he shouts at the tv…perhaps I should get him on Strawberry duty to distract him 😉

  9. catterel says:

    I confess I got stuck at the image of unfolding bollocks …

  10. Bahaha. Bollocks indeed my friend. Just shit… All of it. This post, on the other hand, was an absolute cracker.
    With love from Oz 😜

  11. thomas peck says:

    I prefer the radio…

  12. Definitely the radio … and you can still berate. Brilliant bit about straws. Who knew?

  13. Really? A straw?

    I got rid of my cable subscription becuz my 50-inch plasma screen TV went dead on me and ever since I have not been able to (i.e. no wish to) watch anything on Japanese terrestrial TV. I now go to the movie theatre every chance I get.

    • Very French….it’s so good that the French cinema still thrives…so long as the Government keeps up the subsidy, which I think is so worthwhile…have you seen “Les Intouchables”?

      • No, I have not but would love to. It would’ve been shown here before I changed my lifestyle. French films I have seen most recently, i.e. in the past month, are, including “revived” ones, Paris Follies, Dior & I, Café de Flore, May Fools, and Mes Séanees de Lutte.

        I do not understand French so not sure if I’m understanding the films as intended by reading the Japanese subtitles. And reading makes me more sleepy and I often blank out and lose the storyline when watching non-English spoken films. Hate that.

      • You’d be better getting “les intouchables” off the internet and seeing it with English subtitles…it’s brilliantly funny and sad and moving…not to be missed. I rate it with my very favourite films of all times, such as “Pulp Fiction”.

      • Right. But I would want to see any film on the big screen. The dilemma!

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