It may be assumed, from the universal accretion of sex shops, that many bedside cabinets harbour rarely, if ever, used sex aids in the same way that tiny chapels house rarely revered reliquaries containing slivers of saintly bones. Both were acquired to refresh, renew or otherwise prop up flagging beliefs or libidos. After initial ecstasies of body or spirit both vibrator and venerated femur are forgotten and are laid to rest in darkened recesses where they remain until discovered by archaeologists, house clearance operatives or inquisitive offspring. Asparagus can so easily suffer the same fate and often does so in our house. Green asparagus, as I have mentioned in previous posts, is uncommon in our local shops. White asparagus is in the ascendant hereabouts which means that, when my eyes fall upon a some green amongst the white, the carefully constructed shopping list in my hand is ignored. On my return home the asparagus is admired, put on view, talked about and eventually put in the fridge. Once in there, it is too often forgotten and, if it is remembered, it is remembered too late. The firm spears are no longer erect….the sex has left the aid. It is with this in mind that I think it worthwhile to recount a method of preserving the freshness and crispness of the spears over at least a week.
Cut off the thick, woody bases up to the start of green flesh of the spears, leaving the bunch tied together. Pour a little cold water into a glass jar, or some other appropriately sized container, and put in the bunch of asparagus, so that the bases are just covered in water. Now place a small plastic bag over the tips of the spears and secure it. I’ve done this for the first time and the spears, some five days later, are stiff and raring to go. It would just sound puerile to tell you that they will be put into a tart later on today, so I won’t.
Food, Photography & France 
Thanks a million for the tip – I shall try it soon! I have the same problem with ‘forgetting’ what’s in the fridge. Of course one problem that I have is a ‘personal one’ – I don’t keep the fridge properly organized and stuff get shoved into odd corners. Spoiled asparagus and Brussels Sprouts are probably my biggest problem, and neither one of them are cheap.On top of that, having grown up in Europe during the war, throwing out food is a cardinal sin, and causes me great distress.
We’re the same about throwing food away….we really try never to do it.
Snorted coffee & woke my snoozin’ Pooch with loud guffaw at that last puerile bit you didn’t tell us.
My veggie drawers are never respectable enough to air in public. Merci! Judith
Excellent. “Veggie drawers” is a wonderfully suggestive phrase that will certainly be the subject matter of a future post…many thanks:)
Gosh, I’ve never had asparagus wilt in the fridge. It lasts well over a week (if I don’t use it before).
I line my plastic airtight container with a clean tea towel and rest the veggies loosely in the middle. Lay over (or wrap) the veggies and then seal the airtight container and put in the middle of the fridge (away from the sides of the fridge – this is important). I also never ever cram my fridge with lots of things (making the thermostat increase automatically which make the cucumber go translucent and soggy, for example).
Most veggies (particularly if they’re organic from my local fresh food market) will last for ages this way Weeks. I change the tea towels weekly.
The important thing is that the tea towel absorbs any moisture and the air tight container stops the veggies drying out.
Seriously.
When I spend a lot of money on fresh organic vegetables, I spend time storing them properly when I get home from the weekly market. Even better if you don’t open the container every night and let air in. I went to hospital via ambulance and spent the week in hospital last week and my herbs and vegetables (particularly those sent down from my brother’s farm) looked as good as the day I bought them except for a few blackened coriander leaves (which I had flung in the fridge without the usual wrapping of paper towel or cloth tea towel). My celery and spring onions last for ages well wrapped and sealed. Sometimes I stick the bunch of spring onions in a plastic pot of soil on my inner city balcony and it grows and keeps for months (if I don’t use it up).
Your idea is also a good one, Roger, but once you get used to my method, it becomes automatic (as an inner city dweller and not tiresome to accomplish on Market day at all).
Love it, Victoria. I’m just going to have to get a bit more organised.
that is brilliant – thank you.
Excellent…I’m glad you liked it:)
I admit I used to find this storage procedure a real chore. But with practice it becomes a habit.
Actually, come to think of it, my brother sent the herbs, spinach etc down via my Father and he came over for lunch 2 1/2 weeks ago, so tonight when I used my parsley, it was still perfect 18 days later. I had layered the various herbs with a layer of paper kitchen towel between each herb. Either way….paper towel or cloth towel….it works.
I do use that system with herbs but I hadn’t applied it to asparagus. It could end up with the fridge looking like a hospital:)
PS Great photo of those asparagus tips.
🙂
I am, like Victoria, a woman who takes time to tend to her veggies in this way and came across it quite by accident but it does work well. Asparagus always call to me at the store and then get forgotten for a few days so either of these tips would win the day.
I’m off to cook them now….fresh, green and crisp as they are:)
and so delicious
🙂
What a lot of kindred spirits have been brought together by these tips on asparagus tips. Mouth watering as usual!
🙂
Hmmmmm…….I wonder if there’s any asparagus at the market? Probably not. I’ve have to just imagine the taste of yours, Roger.
The delicious tart is under way as I write. The pastry is chilling:)
Love the analogies!
🙂
Very nice pictures ! congratulations !
Many thanks:)
Your mind works in mysterious ways Roger – from Vibrators to Asparagus Spears (which would never wllt in my fridge as I can’t resist them for very long). Glad you did not resort to lavatory humour at the end or I might have snorted half a glass of wine al over the laptop – oops 😉
Yes, I’m glad that I avoided that temptation:)
I’m still waiting for the new season asparagus to rise to the occasion here 😉
It won’t disappoint:)
Just bought asparagus today, Roger. Though I place them in water, I leave them on the counter. I’m less likely to forget them that way. Odd. I’ve suddenly remembered to get batteries.
Excellent, John:)
I have asparagus in the fridge right now, and they’re about to be ‘Rogered’. 🙂
That’s the only way to treat them:)
OMG ~ Both you and John DO take the cake and have me hysterical when I should be seriously working!!!!! Have never thought of asparagus in sexual terms – I guess because the spears don’t last more than 24 hours in this house 🙂 ! And as a female of the species tarts are not much on my mind either . . . .
In this new age of single sex unions, tarts are no longer limited to the minds of us chaps:)
Oops ~ another lesson learnt 😀 !!
I must confess, I ‘ve never thought about asparagus and sex toys at the same time. An interesting correlation. We ate our asparagus tonight before they got limp.
Wise:)
All of you should be on stage…
Come on EllaDee ~ let’s join ’em !!!!!!
I’m the one rolling in the aisle, laughing uncontrollably 🙂
Glad you enjoyed the show:)
Go for it:)
🙂
Heeheehee. I have a special cup for my spears…………it keeps them erect for at least a week.
That’s inhuman:)
😀 !!!!!
Patent this idea – asparagus condoms. 🙂
Perfect….as I’m sure you know, condoms are called “preservatifs” in French, which is even more apposite:)
I do that with herbs and it works brilliantly.
I’m going to do that in future.
Thanks for the tip! (no pun intended)
Excellent…the tip doesn’t count:)
i love asparagus with a passion: great pictures, Roger.
I can’t get enough of it either. I think the only way is to grow your own….but then I might grow to hate it:)
I can so relate to your thoughts about asparagus, when I saw your first image I knew that you will talk sensual about asparagus….haha….putting them in a jar of water works…… it might calm down the sensual desire by being dropped into water….. but it keeps it fresh….. so what did you finally do to the asparagus…… are there fun cooking experiences to share…..? we are all waiting for that Roger!
It’s in the oven now:)
When we bought our first house I knew nothing about plants or gardening. One section of the garden had an unruly mess of fern-like plants. What’s a new home-owner to do but pull them all out and make way for a neat garden spot? So I did. And when I learned that the messy ferns were established asparagus plants I gave myself an imaginary tongue lashing. That’s one of the stupidest things I have ever done!
That is unbelievable, seeing as they take several years to establish themselves….sounds exactly what I would have done:)
Sex toys and asparagus…you certainly have a way with your words, Roger. The asparagus in our markets sits in little pans of water so they are usually pretty fresh. I’m afraid I’ll start laughing out loud in the store if I happen to see a not so firm bunch. 😀
Avert your eyes, Karen…be kind:)