Keeping it fresh..


It may be assumed, from the universal accretion of sex shops, that many bedside cabinets harbour rarely, if ever, used sex aids in the same way that tiny chapels house rarely revered reliquaries containing slivers of saintly bones. Both were acquired to refresh, renew or otherwise prop up flagging beliefs or libidos. After initial ecstasies of body or spirit both vibrator and venerated femur are forgotten and are laid to rest in darkened recesses where they remain until discovered by archaeologists, house clearance operatives or inquisitive offspring. Asparagus  can so easily suffer the same fate and often does so in our house. Green asparagus, as I have mentioned in previous posts, is uncommon in our local shops. White asparagus is in the ascendant hereabouts which means that, when my eyes fall upon a some green amongst the white, the carefully constructed shopping list in my hand is ignored. On my return home the asparagus is admired, put on view, talked about and eventually put in the fridge. Once in there, it is too often forgotten and, if it is remembered, it is remembered too late. The firm spears are no longer erect….the sex has left the aid. It is with this in mind that I think it worthwhile to recount a method of preserving the freshness and crispness of the spears over at least a week.


Cut off the thick, woody bases up to the start of green flesh of the spears, leaving the bunch tied together. Pour a little cold water into a glass jar, or some other appropriately sized container, and put in the bunch of asparagus, so that the bases are just covered in water. Now place a small plastic bag over the tips of the spears and secure it. I’ve done this for the first time and the spears, some five days later, are stiff and raring to go. It would just sound puerile to tell you that they will be put into a tart later on today, so I won’t.


About Food,Photography & France

Photographer and film maker living in France. After a long career in London, my wife and I have settled in the Vendee, where we run residential digital photography courses with a strong gastronomic flavour.
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60 Responses to Keeping it fresh..

  1. Thanks a million for the tip – I shall try it soon! I have the same problem with ‘forgetting’ what’s in the fridge. Of course one problem that I have is a ‘personal one’ – I don’t keep the fridge properly organized and stuff get shoved into odd corners. Spoiled asparagus and Brussels Sprouts are probably my biggest problem, and neither one of them are cheap.On top of that, having grown up in Europe during the war, throwing out food is a cardinal sin, and causes me great distress.

  2. Snorted coffee & woke my snoozin’ Pooch with loud guffaw at that last puerile bit you didn’t tell us.
    My veggie drawers are never respectable enough to air in public. Merci! Judith

  3. Vicki says:

    Gosh, I’ve never had asparagus wilt in the fridge. It lasts well over a week (if I don’t use it before).

    I line my plastic airtight container with a clean tea towel and rest the veggies loosely in the middle. Lay over (or wrap) the veggies and then seal the airtight container and put in the middle of the fridge (away from the sides of the fridge – this is important). I also never ever cram my fridge with lots of things (making the thermostat increase automatically which make the cucumber go translucent and soggy, for example).

    Most veggies (particularly if they’re organic from my local fresh food market) will last for ages this way Weeks. I change the tea towels weekly.

    The important thing is that the tea towel absorbs any moisture and the air tight container stops the veggies drying out.


    When I spend a lot of money on fresh organic vegetables, I spend time storing them properly when I get home from the weekly market. Even better if you don’t open the container every night and let air in. I went to hospital via ambulance and spent the week in hospital last week and my herbs and vegetables (particularly those sent down from my brother’s farm) looked as good as the day I bought them except for a few blackened coriander leaves (which I had flung in the fridge without the usual wrapping of paper towel or cloth tea towel). My celery and spring onions last for ages well wrapped and sealed. Sometimes I stick the bunch of spring onions in a plastic pot of soil on my inner city balcony and it grows and keeps for months (if I don’t use it up).

    Your idea is also a good one, Roger, but once you get used to my method, it becomes automatic (as an inner city dweller and not tiresome to accomplish on Market day at all).

  4. Vicki says:

    PS Great photo of those asparagus tips.

  5. I am, like Victoria, a woman who takes time to tend to her veggies in this way and came across it quite by accident but it does work well. Asparagus always call to me at the store and then get forgotten for a few days so either of these tips would win the day.

  6. catterel says:

    What a lot of kindred spirits have been brought together by these tips on asparagus tips. Mouth watering as usual!

  7. Vicki says:

    Hmmmmm…….I wonder if there’s any asparagus at the market? Probably not. I’ve have to just imagine the taste of yours, Roger.

  8. argone says:

    Very nice pictures ! congratulations !

  9. Your mind works in mysterious ways Roger – from Vibrators to Asparagus Spears (which would never wllt in my fridge as I can’t resist them for very long). Glad you did not resort to lavatory humour at the end or I might have snorted half a glass of wine al over the laptop – oops 😉

  10. Mad Dog says:

    I’m still waiting for the new season asparagus to rise to the occasion here 😉

  11. ChgoJohn says:

    Just bought asparagus today, Roger. Though I place them in water, I leave them on the counter. I’m less likely to forget them that way. Odd. I’ve suddenly remembered to get batteries.

  12. Misky says:

    I have asparagus in the fridge right now, and they’re about to be ‘Rogered’. 🙂

  13. Eha says:

    OMG ~ Both you and John DO take the cake and have me hysterical when I should be seriously working!!!!! Have never thought of asparagus in sexual terms – I guess because the spears don’t last more than 24 hours in this house 🙂 ! And as a female of the species tarts are not much on my mind either . . . .

  14. lulu says:

    I must confess, I ‘ve never thought about asparagus and sex toys at the same time. An interesting correlation. We ate our asparagus tonight before they got limp.

  15. EllaDee says:

    All of you should be on stage…

  16. Heeheehee. I have a special cup for my spears…………it keeps them erect for at least a week.

  17. Sally says:

    Patent this idea – asparagus condoms. 🙂

  18. fransiweinstein says:

    I do that with herbs and it works brilliantly.

  19. Thanks for the tip! (no pun intended)

  20. i love asparagus with a passion: great pictures, Roger.

  21. I can so relate to your thoughts about asparagus, when I saw your first image I knew that you will talk sensual about asparagus….haha….putting them in a jar of water works…… it might calm down the sensual desire by being dropped into water….. but it keeps it fresh….. so what did you finally do to the asparagus…… are there fun cooking experiences to share…..? we are all waiting for that Roger!

  22. When we bought our first house I knew nothing about plants or gardening. One section of the garden had an unruly mess of fern-like plants. What’s a new home-owner to do but pull them all out and make way for a neat garden spot? So I did. And when I learned that the messy ferns were established asparagus plants I gave myself an imaginary tongue lashing. That’s one of the stupidest things I have ever done!

  23. Karen says:

    Sex toys and asparagus…you certainly have a way with your words, Roger. The asparagus in our markets sits in little pans of water so they are usually pretty fresh. I’m afraid I’ll start laughing out loud in the store if I happen to see a not so firm bunch. 😀

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