It may be assumed, from the universal accretion of sex shops, that many bedside cabinets harbour rarely, if ever, used sex aids in the same way that tiny chapels house rarely revered reliquaries containing slivers of saintly bones. Both were acquired to refresh, renew or otherwise prop up flagging beliefs or libidos. After initial ecstasies of body or spirit both vibrator and venerated femur are forgotten and are laid to rest in darkened recesses where they remain until discovered by archaeologists, house clearance operatives or inquisitive offspring. Asparagus can so easily suffer the same fate and often does so in our house. Green asparagus, as I have mentioned in previous posts, is uncommon in our local shops. White asparagus is in the ascendant hereabouts which means that, when my eyes fall upon a some green amongst the white, the carefully constructed shopping list in my hand is ignored. On my return home the asparagus is admired, put on view, talked about and eventually put in the fridge. Once in there, it is too often forgotten and, if it is remembered, it is remembered too late. The firm spears are no longer erect….the sex has left the aid. It is with this in mind that I think it worthwhile to recount a method of preserving the freshness and crispness of the spears over at least a week.
Cut off the thick, woody bases up to the start of green flesh of the spears, leaving the bunch tied together. Pour a little cold water into a glass jar, or some other appropriately sized container, and put in the bunch of asparagus, so that the bases are just covered in water. Now place a small plastic bag over the tips of the spears and secure it. I’ve done this for the first time and the spears, some five days later, are stiff and raring to go. It would just sound puerile to tell you that they will be put into a tart later on today, so I won’t.