There is a superstition, which I have found to contain more than a grain of truth, that bad things come in threes, as in the three horsemen of the apocalypse. Four horsemen, I hear you say, but. according to my research, three was the original number, and whether we are in agreement or not is immaterial to me because three horsemen suit recent events in our household. We have endured and cured the blocked drains, the flooded kitchen and broken water heater and, in so doing, have also had the pleasure of watching the diminishing dust cloud created by those three apocalyptic horsemen disappearing, in disarray, over the metaphysical skyline.
Victorious, yet again, over life’s capriciousness, we are ready to spend the day reminiscing and remembering our 40 years of married life together. The nearest thing to a ruby that I could find, both with regard to budget and colour, to commemorate this ruby wedding was a crab. So, Ruby the Crab will be the centre piece of the celebration. Ruby is not looking that happy about it, but crabs are not renowned for their joie de vivre which is not surprising as the majority of their encounters with humans end badly. They occasionally get to nip a toe which cannot be considered as compensation for being lunch. Missionaries of old would regularly end up in the cooking pot, but their popularity as lunch was never in competition with the crab. Had it been so, we would be tucking into a cauldron of “fruits de l’eglise” which would certainly have helped to spread the word, but more in the fashion of Gentleman’s Relish on toast rather than on the scoreboard of converted heathens. Back to Ruby. Ruby’s going to be a key player in “Spaghetti al Granchi0” which, sadly for Ruby, is not an opera but, as is so often a crab’s lot, lunch. Ruby did not surrender her flesh easily. Getting food out of a crab runs a close second to blood out of a stone. That a crab is bloodless is a bonus , taking into account the mediaeval intricacy of tortuously tantalising each flake of flesh from its armoured carapace.
Lunch with Ruby was better for us than it was for her being that we had plenty to talk about that would only have bored her to death.