Had the Swiss version of apple ducking taken place in the present “caring” climate, William Tell’s son would have been whisked away by Social Services before you could say “Please, Daddy, stop firing arrows at my head”. The Swiss, with that irrepressible sense of humour for which they are so well known, preferred to call it “arrow ducking”: more precise, more funny. Precision gives the Swiss a hard on, whereas smiling or laughing just wastes time and there’s certainly no money in it. As so often happens, the sport was adopted by the good ole US of A who, with the memory of General Custer’s inept display of “arrow ducking” during the contretemps at the Little Big Horn still fresh in the common memory, decided to rename it “apple” ducking. As the Constitution allows, and Moses (that’s Charlton Heston) demands, that they carry assault rifles, it is now more commonly known as “apple fucking”. There is another version of the game that doesn’t involve weapons, but it’s quite dull unless someone drowns.
I recently did three things with apples that didn’t involve anyone getting hurt. The apples didn’t like it, but nobody hears an apple scream. ( Is that a good name for an apple dish, or is that a good name?) This is the simplest of apple confections on a puff pastry base. What makes it so delicious, if not handsome, is the cooking of the apples before they find their way on to the pastry. Sweet apples are peeled, cored and sliced before being slowly cooked in a great deal of butter. Several heaped tablespoons of dense, dark sucre vergeoise are added, followed by a good teaspoon of vanilla paste. This mixture bubbles on a low heat until the apples have softened, at which time the heat is turned up until the sauce reduces t0 a stickiness and the apples start to catch. The apples are then put on the pastry base and cooked for 25 in an oven at 190C.
Baked apples in my experience have on occasion, on quite a few occasions, been a dreadful let down. They’ve looked the part, but not tasted as good as the tart.These apples were traditional large, green, Granny Smiths: the ne ultra plus of apples for baking. On this occasion they were cored, and stuffed with sultanas, raisins, walnuts and tamped down, like naval cannons, with crumbly demerara sugar. A bag of hardened molasses, reminiscent of a bag of concrete that had been left out in the rain, was beaten into pieces and the shards and lumps showered over the tightly packed apples. More molasses were melted and poured over the waiting fruit, I think, and maybe some other ingredients, but that’s all in the past. I do remember cooking them for a good 50 mins in an oven at 190C. They were unbelievably good with some Ginger Pig Vanilla ice cream which my son, Sam, had wisely invested in.
Finally there’s a simple apple crumble. I made this from an often used recipe in Caroline Conran’s 70’s classic “Poor Cook”. I still treasure a battered copy of this gem on my book shelves, and never was a book more appositely titled.I made my crumble with dessert apples, as I didn’t have any Granny Smiths, or should it be Mamet Smiths, as we’re in France. When you have prepared the dry ingredient mix for the topping, it is worth splashing on some drops of cold water and mixing it in with a spoon. This creates lumps in the mix that are delicious when cooked.
Looks scrumptious… I’ve eaten it all in my mind already, including ginger pig.
They do make exceedingly good ice cream:)
Someone should have told Mrs. Burroughs about apple ducking!
Three great recipes – we are being spoiled today 😉
I need to know who Mrs Burroughs is – I’ve googled something about horror movies. Arrows – arrows in the head – brown bread – dead. Am I close?
William Burroughs wife – he shot her playing William Tell:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_Vollmer
That is such a brilliant piece of trivia, MD. How did I not know that, and how that would have enriched the post.A little bit of a Naked Lunch with a couple of tarts:)
ROFL 🙂
Those baked apples look marvelous! You’re forgiven the snide comments about the US of A 🙂
And about Moses?
Especially that because as a member of the National Rifle Association, Charlton Heston is my husband’s president 🙂 Although Kevin has a collection of rifles, shotguns and pistols (nothing Rambo/assault) with ammunition, I don’t remember him robbing or shooting anyone. Bambi and Peter, yes.
I don’t know what to say. I just know that you’re good people. I still feel as I do though:)
Course you do and it’s okay. Our son has a rifle too. Jade didn’t get one yet because she wasn’t in the States when she turned 12 😀
I will have to make the crumble for my dad, Roger. It sounds very like one he liked at a French restaurant. I still do not know how we wrangled him into that establishment, but thank God for that apple dish.
It’s a really good classic that I’m sure Roy will love:)
Thank you for these funny and tasty recipes!
Glad you like them:)
Ha! That’s a terrifying thought….”an apple scream”….
Apple scream on a stick – delicious:)
Absolutely drooling over the Apple Puff Pastry Tart!
It was so good:)
You…..monster.
*tummy rumbles involuntarily*
I know it’s unfair….fair stopped at the nursery door:)
That statement about the precision of the Swiss will keep a smile on my face all day; the mention of the Gun Lobby in the US kind’of removes it! Thank God I live Down Under where two of our erstwhile Olympians were sent home early from the Games for just visiting a SF gunshop and putting it briefly on Facebook! Slight overreaction but it sure made a point!!
I just can’t understand how the Gun Lobby has so much sway. Correction . I can, sadly, understand how the Gun Lobby has so much sway, I just can’t believe it.
We had our Prime Minister on a rather important TV panel show with a large group of high school students from all over NSW last week: this came up again and again – one of her thoughts was that it had to do with lack of compulsory voting [We have certainly always had it! Nobody minds!]. Because so many of the midstream did not bother to vote, groups with strong agendas had a chance to make themselves heard???
I think there’s a lot of truth in that, but it doesn’t explain how a Western nation, with huge advantages, can allow such self inflicted mayhem to continue.
Thanks for the crumble tip. Last week I made an apple tart following a recipe from a very expensive book. It was a dismal failure! Yours looks amazing 🙂
Hope it works for you:)
Brillaint, brillaint and what a great title! Loved the name of the ice cream too and now I know I need to make a tarte tatin at the weekend…
I knew I’d left something out:)
Really, it’s hard to beat any of these three – especially as no apples were killed int he process 🙂
I think humane treatment of apples is essential, yet often overlooked:)
Apple DOOKIN here in Scottieland!! LOVE Poor Cook too….mx
So you could replace the “D” of Dookin with an “F” to achieve the American version:)
My mouth is watering!
Well, I call that a success:)
It is, for sure. Scrumptuous-looking photos, very tasty ingredients. If I was close by I’d be knocking on your door!
You’d be welcome:)
Thanks. I’ll remember that 🙂
Apricot rather than apple for me, every time. And I have that same edition of Poor Cook…..somewhere among my old cookery books!
I really look forward to the apricot season. Wonderful things to make with them – there’s a lamb and apricot dish in Poor Cook, if I remember correctly,
Gotta’ love a post with the words “apple scream” and “Ginger Pig.”
That tart looks insanely good!
I going to have to devise a recipe for “Apple Scream”:)
Definitely.
Our apple trees are blooming now. Five months from now I’ll be trying your apple dishes…especially the puff pastry tart.
It’s terrifying how quickly the year is flying past.
I totally agree with you. Remember when we were children…time seemed to pass so slowly.
Instead of galloping along as it does now:)
One of our satirical “news” papers announced Heston’s death with the headline: “Charlton Heston’s Gun Taken From His Cold, Dead Hands”.
All 3 dishes look so very good, Roger, but I’ll be making that crumble, no doubt. Thanks for posting the recipe.
The way he’s talked about, I didn’t even realise he was dead. Quite spooky:)
Well, I can’t top John’s comment, that’s for sure. But boy do all of these look wonderfully decadent. But hey, apples are good for you.
These pictures disprove the old adage ” An apple a day keeps the doctor away”.
Ouch! Swipe at the Swiss – very funny 🙂 Apples and gun laws – that’s a new combination for a food blog post and has me reappraising all mine in a different light. I’ll be back (mental picture of Arnie with a crossbow and a sack full of Granny Smiths).
Love the idea of Arnie and a sack full of apples – or did you mean real Grannies:)