Being born a duck is amongst the shortest straws to be drawn in the creation stakes. There you are, a handsome beast, or babe, with a cool beak, great coloured feathers, top swimmer, ace diver and aerobatic ace: but, and it’s a big but, the butt of many a joke known to man unkind. From the classic one word joke “D-u-u-u-ck” to “I suppose a duck’s out of the question” the disrespect for duckdom is ubiquitous, or all over the ducking place. When Donald was staying at the Chateau Marmont, with Minnie Mouse, he asked room service for some condoms to be brought up to the room. As he took them from the porter he was astounded by the vile, duckist jibe “Shall I put them on your bill, Sir?” It’s no wonder that ducks are wild.