No need to stand on ceremony, just stay kneeling…

knife_santoku2.9683copy And I did. I stayed kneeling until I was a dehydrated, emptied husk.The featureless porcelain prayer station before which I unwillingly worshipped had become my friend, my only friend. Here I was, crouched and moaning, not only afflicted by an implacable virus but now also a victim of Stockholm syndrome. There is the belief that by personifying one’s illness with a name can help to make it more manageable, but I found that the virus as Vera was just as unpleasant after the Christening as she had been before. I’m not sure that I consciously named the virus, but a noise like “Vera-a-aagh” seemed to come unbidden from my mouth each time that I opened it. Thus spake Vera, and she spake oft and horridly. I had been unwillingly drawn into the monkish cycle of sleeplessness, hallucination and kneeling on hard floors in a vain attempt to rid myself of the evil within, and the realisation that penitence and prayer have no immediate beneficial manifestation had become clearer in my mind. In fact I was finding Faust’s pact very reasonable as long as it included a “no gastro virus ever again” clause. Now that Vera has had her way with me, used me, sucked me dry and cast me aside like an old boot, I’m rising to my feet like a giraffe after a punch up. Quite a short giraffe, I admit, but just as shakily*

The giraffe bit will mean more to those that watched David Attenborough’s amazing “Africa” 


About Food,Photography & France

Photographer and film maker living in France. After a long career in London, my wife and I have settled in the Vendee, where we run residential digital photography courses with a strong gastronomic flavour.
This entry was posted in 2013, Art photography, Digital photography, Dreams, Food and Photography, Food photographer, harmony, Health, Humour, Illusion, Photography, Reality, Sunday, Uncategorized, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

35 Responses to No need to stand on ceremony, just stay kneeling…

  1. Mad Dog says:

    I hope you are feeling better. If whisky’s a bit much you could dilute it with Ginger Wine to make a Whisky Mac – it’s good for the stomach and very warming. Don’t water it down though, that’s where the bugs are 😉
    Great picture!

  2. I hope this note finds you feeling much improved today, Roger. I really love today’s photo.

  3. Roger, so chuffed you’ve sent Veragh packing. I never liked the look of her, you know. Trouble with a capital T. Take it very, very easy!

  4. Tessa says:

    I hope that you feel better soon :).

  5. You make even illness sound poetic. But I’m sure it’s anything but. I hope you’re feeling better.

  6. Dear Roger,

    I am so sorry that you caught this “thing” from me. I didn’t realize that I was getting so close to you that the germs on my breath flew to you; as attracted as I am to you! Improve, my dear, until our next soiree. Oh, and my regards to your wife.

  7. Good god, that sounds simply ghastly.. been there done that, named a few and have created it myself on occasion. It always feels as though one will never enjoy food ever again.. thankfully food cravings come back. Get well, Roger!!! xx

  8. Michelle says:

    Well, at least you haven’t lost your sense of humor.

  9. Eha says:

    How can an ’emptied husk’ manage to write like a Pulitzer Prize winning author . . .

  10. Tandy says:

    Sorry you have been ill, there’s nothing worse than gastro for someone who loves food. Feel better soon!

  11. ChgoJohn says:

    I hope you’re feeling better by the time you read this, Roger. Hang in there.

  12. Amazing photo Roger…do hope you´re soon back to normal (or as near as)!

  13. Feel better soon, Roger.

  14. Kenneth Hope says:

    Hope you are very soon back in shape….Bien a toi mon ami…

  15. If you’re able to take such an amazing photo, you must be feeling better 😉

  16. spreespree says:

    Really sad to hear you’ve been so very sick Roger!! Such a load of violence heaped on one poor body! Do hope you’re feeling better by now – the one “good” (???) thing about such things is they don’t generally linger on and on. (But that’s hardly good enough to recommend it.) Be Well!!!
    (And kind of beside the “point” – but your photo’s spectacular!)

  17. Glad to hear you’re better now. Vomiting is the worst.

  18. Karen says:

    I’m glad you are well now but what a way to start the new year…nothing good about it other than your writing.

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