“This is going to hurt me a lot more than it’s going to hurt you”is a phrase that is only vocalised when the exact opposite is true. Had I been in Sidney Carton’s shoes, that thought would have correctly passed through my mind just before the blade of the guillotine did. What it means in “nowspeak” is that we’re very much better at bearing pain in others rather than in ourselves. although we’re only too ready to volunteer a “I know how you feel” whilst trying to avoid looking at our watches at the same time. How much we dread a detailed answer to the rhetorical greeting of “How are you?” whilst being utterly demanding of sympathy and a painless cure at the first sign of personal discomfort. Fuck women and children first, I’ve got a headache.
During a hospital visit this morning, my eye chanced upon this handy leaflet announcing none other than a new dawn in diagnosis. With this Assessment Scale at his disposal, the steely eyed medical practitioner would not take long to spot the lack of humour in my serious flat face. A quick glance at the scale would show me for what I really was, a number 2 who could be ignored. No more malingerers with Messrs Wong and Baker at the helm. The Health Service would be back on its feet in no time. Very few beds would need to be occupied as only a moaning and crying number 10 would warrant bed rest and as such a patient would have tightly closed eyes, it’s unlikely they’d find the hospital in the first place. Result
Food, Photography & France 
Here’s hoping your pain really is nothing serious, Roger.
I was just on accompanying duties – I’m in rude health. It was just extraordinary to see such an insane document in a hospital:)
Wonder how soon it would be before they put scanners in at the door. Getting the door to open would be dependent upon the facial expression for pain…. Then they would get really efficient!
I think Wong Baker would like that:)
Ha ha. I think there should be a second scale. Even a mild toothache can become unbearable if it persists for a long time 😉
The problem is, MD, we each think that there should be a separate scale – for us:)
Well all pain is a pain in the arse 😉
No question:)
Bonkers – I am of the school that says (well, my grandma used to say) always smile at the doctor, a smile gets you everywhere. Not into a hospital bed clearly 😦 Will have to practice my sad face for medical emergencies…
I agree – smiling and being polite to a doctor goes a long way.
I once worked for a dragon lady who said, “This hurts me more than it does you,” every time she fired someone. We weren’t buyin’ it.
Glad you’re not in pain. 🙂
I had a great deal of “dragon” teachers who used this phrase when bad shit was coming my way:)
I’ve seen a similar scale taped in emergency rooms. That’s bad because someone might not be able to express their pain, nor could a doctor realize something worse that wouldn’t present with pain initially.
It’s definitely a bit crazy:)
OK, living 40 kms away from the nearest hospital, have had to practice the ‘Chica Andaluza’ smile for ages 😦 ! Usually works, not that I like it!! But the next time some stupid so-and-so says ‘ And how would your pain be on a scale of 1-10?’ methinks I’ll just scream [and end up in a certain hospital department undergoing senilty tets] before counting to ten 🙂 ! Perhaps France is kinder . . . 😀 !
France is a rule book that no one obeys. I think “paradox” is the word:)
I, too, have seen that chart’s American cousin in our hospitals. I’m sure it is intended to ensure that a patient clearly communicates his/her condition but it really is a “how to” for getting quick service at our hospital emergency rooms. The screaming wheel gets the percocet.
That’s a good way to look at it, John:)
Speechless, Roger. I hope they don’t use it in triage!
A room full of people with heads the shape of a squashed lemon, some smiling, some screaming, would be a triage nurse’s nightmare:)
Roger, I saw the exact same ‘pain’ scale when in a hospital in LA a couple of weeks ago. I wondered if I should just start crying, or laughing… Hope you’re well.
So pain has gone international. It had to happen:)
I shall have to check our local hospital to see if we have the same scale here! Hope all is well 🙂
All’s well and thanks for the concern.
Really? The “Wong-Baker Facial Grimace Scale”?! Well, here’s hoping you’re a big fat Zero on that scale Roger and well into enjoying your weekend by now.
That’s for the good wishes Antoinette:)
I guess I will have to cry…opening my eyes only slightly to let the tears out to get proper care. Once admitted, I’ll smile nicely to all the doctors and nurses and then start crying again. I’m smiling as I say this because I do know that hospitals are doing the best they can to keep people from pain.
You are quite right.I am a total admirer of the work done in hospitals to save us from pain.