It’s worrying when cows start to appear attractive. I have to stop poking my camera over hedges and luring these tasty bun fillers into the belief that they may have a future in the glossy world of media. La Vache qui Rit is a rôle model to these Parthenay beauties but they haven’t realised that, in their case, rôle means roll means bun. I wonder if there were many sensitive cannibals who didn’t like seeing their lunch on the hoof, or in their case, in the sandal. A missionary’s metacarpal pushed through the septum was a style icon for cannibals, according to cartoon mythology. which makes me think that these cows might have been giving me the hard look on account of my calf skin gloves. It’s very easy to offend if you keep eating all the creatures or people that you meet as we know from Dr.Lecter’s troubled life. I’m starting to see this bovine portrait as an assembly of glue, shoes, charcuterie and Viking trumpets. A copy of Vogue would have been the equivalent of “Slimming Magazine” to a gourmet cannibal. The picture on the right, which I did many years ago for the “Sunday Times”, is how it all ends. Fat man, dead cow.