Is the furcula the future….

We’re not pulling our furculas nearly enough. Putting our trust in technology, appointments, the National Health or the jury system has led us a merry dance. Not that merry dancing is an option for those waiting for a hip replacement or waiting to get out of prison for something they didn’t do or indeed waiting to get into prison for something that they did do. With our overweening love of lotteries and chance it would seem but a simple step to base our society on the furcula. No more need for credit cards, cash, licences, documents or anything else but a sucked clean furcula. At Christmas, furculas are torn asunder by celebrants believing that their wish will come true if they end up with the larger part in their possession. It is but a small step to the solemn moment when the judge confronts the accused in the box. No need for a plea of innocence or guilt, just a finger around one bone of the furcula, eyes closed, give a good smooth pull and wish. Late at night, hailing a London taxi, “can you take me South of the river”, pull the furcula with the cabby and there it is. You desperately need a doctor’s appointment: just walk straight at the fire breathing receptionist, offer her your furcula for a quick tug and you’re in with the same chance, maybe edging on better, than the now redundant phone call. Mortgages, marriages, divorce settlements could all be dealt with in the same way. The happy couple at the altar now have no need of expensive wedding rings: ” Do you, Daisy Dingbat, take A. Lunatic to be your lawful, wedded husband?” – fingers to the fercula and there’s your answer. The fercula offers the same degree of fairness as is on offer at the moment, but at a much lower cost with the added appeal of chance that must be a major selling point to a society that is so enamoured of scratch cards, lotteries, on line poker and all things that will bring happiness, and of course a great deal of wealth, for as little input as possible.

Am I missing something, or has the system already started?

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About Food,Photography & France

Photographer and film maker living in France. After a long career in London, my wife and I have settled in the Vendee, where we run residential digital photography courses with a strong gastronomic flavour.
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12 Responses to Is the furcula the future….

  1. Mad Dog says:

    Great picture – looks like you had Lee Miller helping in the darkroom 😉

  2. ChgoJohn says:

    I rarely play the lottery or any of the scratch games. Maybe 3 times a year, if that. I’ve played online poker, even came in 11th place in a tournament, but money was never involved. None of these things are my nature. On the other hand, I have 3 furculae on my kitchen’s window sill. If your idea catches on, I’m ready!

    • Keep those furculae in your back pocket, ready for the change. It could also confuse a mugger.

      • spree says:

        (Furculae! Aren’t you the Latin scholars John & Roger!) I don’t play “games” of chance either, though just about every step forward involves some. And I learned as a kid, against my brother, that I didn’t have much of a chance with the wish bone either. But I DO like your rather simplified, clear-cut (and very organic) means of working things out. And the photo Roger – fantastic!

      • I can’t believe that I made such a simple grammar error – I’ll certainly be kept in late.

  3. Ha! Your method sounds about as plausible as some of the other crazy systems we have in place. But, with this method, individuals could “will” their wish to come true.

  4. You see, I learn so much (like new words) from reading your blog! I too have a little collection of furculae (!) waiting to be pulled….more chance of them working than winning the lottery. And wow – that photo!

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