We’re not pulling our furculas nearly enough. Putting our trust in technology, appointments, the National Health or the jury system has led us a merry dance. Not that merry dancing is an option for those waiting for a hip replacement or waiting to get out of prison for something they didn’t do or indeed waiting to get into prison for something that they did do. With our overweening love of lotteries and chance it would seem but a simple step to base our society on the furcula. No more need for credit cards, cash, licences, documents or anything else but a sucked clean furcula. At Christmas, furculas are torn asunder by celebrants believing that their wish will come true if they end up with the larger part in their possession. It is but a small step to the solemn moment when the judge confronts the accused in the box. No need for a plea of innocence or guilt, just a finger around one bone of the furcula, eyes closed, give a good smooth pull and wish. Late at night, hailing a London taxi, “can you take me South of the river”, pull the furcula with the cabby and there it is. You desperately need a doctor’s appointment: just walk straight at the fire breathing receptionist, offer her your furcula for a quick tug and you’re in with the same chance, maybe edging on better, than the now redundant phone call. Mortgages, marriages, divorce settlements could all be dealt with in the same way. The happy couple at the altar now have no need of expensive wedding rings: ” Do you, Daisy Dingbat, take A. Lunatic to be your lawful, wedded husband?” – fingers to the fercula and there’s your answer. The fercula offers the same degree of fairness as is on offer at the moment, but at a much lower cost with the added appeal of chance that must be a major selling point to a society that is so enamoured of scratch cards, lotteries, on line poker and all things that will bring happiness, and of course a great deal of wealth, for as little input as possible.
Am I missing something, or has the system already started?