Guess who’s coming to dinner…surprise,surprise….no one.

And there we were in the warmth of the kitchen, sipping a pre lunch drink whilst delicious aroma of the gravy that I was making wafted around us. The table was laid, instead of the corner of the kitchen work surface where we normally eat, the fire was burning and the winter sunlight illuminated  motes of dust, that are now taking liberties as Jenny’s right arm is out of action, floating in the air. Even though the hour was well past that at which we had expected the arrival of our guests neither of us had voiced our mutual belief that all was not well, although thoughts of an accusatory nature were forming beyond the horizon of bonhomie, and the apportioning of blame was being carefully measured.

“Did you confirm the time?””No””Oh””I’m sure it was understood””Are you?””Yes, I am””Maybe give them a ring””For God’s sake…””Just to be sure””I am fucking sure”” Ring them…”

The reply to the phone call came as if from another, if not universe, then certainly another time space. It was as if I was asking for the solution to an impossible Euclidian equation, and asking the question in a little know dialect of Tagalog. It appeared that I was mad to believe that an any such arrangement could had been entered into, and I detected a certain sympathy for the delusions from which I clearly suffered on a regular basis. Pointless to continue – I begged to be excused for my insanity and ate the phone. Then we ate roast chicken, bread sauce, roast potatoes, shelled broad beans in cream, carrots slowly cooked in butter and sugar until fondant, a bucket of the delicious gravy and an apple pie. So we didn’t get to spend time with the Fokkers for which I’m fokking grateful.


About Food,Photography & France

Photographer and film maker living in France. After a long career in London, my wife and I have settled in the Vendee, where we run residential digital photography courses with a strong gastronomic flavour.
This entry was posted in Baking, Cooking, Food and Photography, fruit pies, harmony, photography course, Photography holiday, Roast Chicken, Writing. Bookmark the permalink.

32 Responses to Guess who’s coming to dinner…surprise,surprise….no one.

  1. What a shame you didn’t get to share that gorgeous bird! Wonderful photography, of course.

    • Rosemary, hi there Thanks for the comment. By the way, we’re working on a “Food Photography” project for next Spring. It would be residential in a beautiful manoir in the Charente and I’d be doing it with a very experienced home economist (Mary Cadogan). We’re just finalising details. All the best Roger

  2. Michelle Brooks says:

    Jesus Roger – suddenly had a panic attack and thought “it wasn’t us was it?” won’t ask where you stabbed the fork into the chicken first though!! Hope the meal was enjoyable – looked amazing, next time you have no showers – give us a call, we’d be more than happy to help sample your wares! Michellex

  3. Mad Dog says:

    More fool them – your feast looks delicious – don’t invite them again 😉

  4. Brilliant – so where was Sidney Poitier then?! Actually, I´ve done this before but I was the expected guest…very embarassing 😦

  5. Definitely their loss – your food looks very appetizing!

  6. What a shame you couldn’t share it, but if it tasted half as good as it looks, then, what a treat for two!
    Saw your response to Rosemary, and I’m wondering if the course in the spring could include beginners? Or will it be geared more towards those with a bit more experience? I was going to wait until after the first of the year to ask about a few days under your tutelage next spring…

    • Hi there Thanks for the kind comment. The courses will be open to all levels of photography. The main point is to learn whilst enjoying yourself and eating good food in the heart of France. I hope to be launching details before Christmas on the blog and the website. All the best Roger

  7. What are they loons? The correct response is: “I thought you said 1! We’re leaving now. Can we bring wine?”

  8. And look what they missed….if they could have seen this they’d have been there straight away! I’d have come to help if I’d known!

  9. ChgoJohn says:

    Maybe it’s the hermit in me but I think things worked out pretty well. You and Jen enjoyed what looks like a lovely dinner without having to entertain anyone but each other. You can have a good time without a single Fokker around.

  10. quinnpinn says:

    All that bird and no one to eat it. What a shame.

  11. The chicken looks delicious. I wouldn’t want to share with others.

  12. I’m with Rufus on this one. 🙂 I saw your tweet regarding this beautiful roast over the weekend, and as I couldn’t decide what to make for dinner I decided to follow in your footsteps. The husband and I were quite happy with that decision.

  13. Hilarious! “Pointless to continue – I begged to be excused for my insanity and ate the phone.” This could be a line out of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” The dinner looks divine!

    • Many thanks for the high praise. I remember, when we lived in England, being often stuck in a traffic jam in Richmond-upon-Thames right outside the house where Virginia Wolff had lived for much of her life – maybe some of her rubbed off on me. Roger

  14. For that kind of meal I would cancel any kind of plans I had even slightly thought of having instead.
    Gorgeous pictures.

  15. Tandy says:

    less to share = more joy 🙂

  16. Rachel says:

    You completely crack me up. Details on that beautiful pie please?? Mmmm…

  17. ceciliag says:

    Brilliant. Well who would WANT to share such a lovely fat chicken anyway. I especially hate sharing gravy, gravy is my favourite! And poor Jen with her arm in the air and not being able to swat the motes! Now, are there leftovers? c

    • Hi there Thanks for the lovely comments and Jen is grateful for the sympathy – it’s a bugger. I’ve been cooking things all afternoon, amongst which was a modification of your little tarts with apple puree and sponge. I realised that I hadn’t got the tart tin that I remembered, so I made them as apple puree filled Madeleines – rough looking but delicious – thanks for the original recipe Roger

  18. purabinaha says:

    What a wonderful spirit reflecting your photography! I loved the way you write. Would look forward to your posts now. Do you have a facebook page? I loved your posts. Would be happy if you follow my blog (Cosmopolitan Currymania) and I’d follow your’s back as well! Happy blogging!

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