We are currently dog sitting a poodle. Very French you may say, and you would be right. He, Trigger that is, only responds to commands in French and only those that he agrees with. Trigger is not named after the wonder horse, who had the extraordinary ability of coming every time Roy Rogers whistled, but after the insane character in “Only Fools and Horses”. His relationship with a rubber ball called “Baballe” is similar to the TV character’s relationship with his broom – inseparable. In the same way that the TV Trigger avowed that he had used the same broom for 25 years apart from it having had 15 new heads and 10 new handles, so it is with “Baballe”. The dog is unaware that his master buys job lots of the identical ball from ebay. Aside from this craziness he has the ability to get me away from the screen and out walking in the lanes around the house, often very early in the morning, which is when I saw and tasted fabulous cherries, red and white, temptingly leaning over into my path – begging me to scrump. I blame the dog for leading me into temptation or, as a child I would say, into Thames station.