The horny (or is it thorny) problem of oral satisfaction in public…

smoked_salmon_brunch_0006

It’s not surprising that, of the two, only “brunch” has survived from the portmanteau duo which includes the unpleasantly named “tupper”.  The end result of asking  friends and acquaintances  to join you for “tupper” would be, at best, a reduced circle of friends and acquaintances or, at worst, total isolation. “Tupper” doesn’t sound right on its own and with the addition of “ware” removes any thoughts of deliciousness, replacing them with a vision of curled fish paste sandwiches in a plastic coffin:  depressing. The more I think of it, I’m not entirely sure if “brunch” is still a word in common use; it may well have gone the way of “tiffin”, and I would be none the wiser.

Aside from current fashions, the ineluctable fact is that our hunger for a between meal time collation has yielded up a collection of the most satisfyingly delicious combinations of sexy ingredients to the point that they have  become a socially acceptable  form of oral sex; a treat for the celibate and an aid to the lascivious, as unforgettably illustrated by Albert Finney and Joyce Redman in “Tom Jones”.

I speak of Eggs Benedict, French Toast, Kedgeree, Caviare Omelette, Corned Beef Hash,  Caesar Salad, Omelette Arnold Bennett, Oysters, Croque Monsieur/Madame,  Asparagus and Poached Egg, Kippers with Mustard Butter, Devilled Kidneys, Cornish Crab with Mayonnaise, Steak Tartare, Quails Eggs and Hollandaise or, as happened at home today, Smoked Salmon with Scrambled Eggs and Rocket on toasted cereal bread; there’s a lot of capital letters in there which signify well deserved “OOH’S” and “AAH’S” .

About Food,Photography & France

Photographer and film maker living in France. After a long career in London, my wife and I have settled in the Vendee, where we run residential digital photography courses with a strong gastronomic flavour.
This entry was posted in 2013, Bad Habits, Cooking, Digital photography, Eggs, Excellence, Excess, Expectation, food, Food and Photography, Food photographer, Humour, Photography, Quail eggs, Sex, Uncategorized, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

45 Responses to The horny (or is it thorny) problem of oral satisfaction in public…

  1. Brunch is a common word/meal between breakfast & lunch over the weekend here in Australia.

    I don’t think I have ever had smoked salmon and scrambled eggs together, but certainly have had them for ‘brunch’ separately. I love smoked salmon and fresh creamy goat cheese on a crunchy rye sourdough toast. But years ago, I used to like fresh, sautéed field mushrooms with a dash of sherry & lots of parsley (on toast) also……now I’m getting hungry and it’s time for bed.

  2. Darya says:

    It is always a pleasure to read your posts, especially those with eggs on the picture, the mention of eggs in the text, a fair dose of humor, and a video of the best scene in one of my favorite movies ever.

  3. Dee-licious! And I’d really like to have deviled kidneys and quail eggs with hollandaise, both of which I’ve never tasted.

  4. margaret21 says:

    That all sounds wonderful, apart from corned beef hash, which seems far too like school dinners and spam fritters for my liking

  5. suej says:

    Just reading this made me hungry! Apropos smoked salmon and scrambled eggs, a delicious variant on this theme was smoked eel and scrambled eggs that we had some years ago in a delightful restaurant with rooms in Kleinwien, Austria. I have searched out smoked eel on occasions ever since!

  6. ah…brunch….I can easily raise my glass to that!

  7. Ohhhh les oeufs Benedict… Long time ago…

  8. We have to stop egging you on to write about eggs. I was thrilled by that plate of salmon. Ooooooh, yes. You had me in fits wth the Tupperware coffin – Mr Tupp has a lot to answer for, including lids that never fit.

  9. Misky says:

    I did chicken liver paté on sourdough today. Quite satisfying.

  10. I’m ooh-ing and aah-ing and giggling at memories of my Spanish family being introduced to the concept of “broonch” (Spanish pronunciation). And now I’m off for a bit of foodie titillation with the Tom Jones video :)

  11. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Of course, you know how much I love that title.

    Until a couple of years ago, I held a Christmas brunch every year. I’m satisfying my Christmas brunch urge this year by attending our first same-sex wedding in Minnesota, followed the next morning by brunch at FIKA, the restaurant at the American Swedish Institute. I’m sure they will have eggs with their open-faced sandwiches.

  12. Brunch is a big thing over here, especially on Sunday. I’m not a fan of smoked salmon, but you’ve made it look wonderful.

  13. Rörschåch says:

    HAHAHA! Well, your title certainly stopped me in my tracks.

    Now, I’ve read further and you used a “Tom Jones” reference. Roger, you are incorrigible.

    Smoked or home cured salmon is a particular favorite of mine. Thank you for making it a star.

    Happy Christmas!

  14. Mad Dog says:

    I think I brunch everyday. I had a late brunch today, does that qualify as brunchea?
    IMHO the food sex in Tampopo trumps Tom Jones, especially the French kissing scene with a raw egg ;-)

  15. EllaDee says:

    Brunch is alive and well in Australia, especially on weekends when it seems many of us can’t be bothered to get out of bed in time for breakfast. Scrambled eggs and smoked salmon is also popular, at least in the locales we wander. Not all cafes’ manage it well. Many times it’s been served with the salmon cooked through… eeergggh… extreme lack of oral satisfaction in that case.

  16. I think it depends which country you’re in. Brunch is a big thing on the weekends in the US. I just had dinner but reading your list of lovely dishes is making me hungry again. Add in the mimosas and I’m in!

  17. Eha says:

    Oh Roger, I would have loved to observe your face when you were typing out that heading!! Delicious!! Well, ‘Tampopo’ over ‘Tom Jones’ for me and I cannot put kedgeree or hash into a certain category [probably just ignorant ;) !] . . . but I just love smoked eel . . . well, catching it and smoking it and serving it and enjoying it . . . . oh yes, we Colonials DO brunch Down Under . . .

  18. I can recall a few brunches in the recent past, but they’re never as grand as the list provided. Oddly enough, there is a town within reach of here called Tiffin. Being off the interstates, it has fallen in a state of disrepair. I suppose it too went the way of “tiffin.”

    • Tiffin is a name that still pops everywhere….lunch boxes in Mumbai, a cake like confection of the name, a well known school near to London, a chocolate bar that I remember from school-days and, according to Google, Tiffin University in Tiffin, Ohio…so it seems to have kept going after all:)

  19. Loved the title of your post, Roger, I certainly can relate to that, but home made brunches are the best.This morning I made a smoked salmon, spinach omelet, with olive bread and home made apricot jam. with buuuuutttteeeerrrr! ” Horny” , oral self satisfaction in private!!! Hehe……

  20. catterel says:

    Gorgeous :-D – tupper wouldn’t mean anything north of Watford, where “tea” can be anything at all. A Scot who invited me to tea at 5 pm served a three course meal with an enormous curry as the main.

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